Monday, February 14, 2005

Is nothing sacred to the terrorists?

Osama Bin Laden has no respect, none whatsoever, not even on our most holy of holidays. I left a construction-paper mailbox on the edge of my desk in the Oval Office, and I received several delightfully pleasant valentines from some co-workers (even Condi!), but Osama has to go and ruin my day by defiling the sacred tradition of the construction-paper mailbox with a letter laced with Anthrax. Not cool, Osama, not cool.

(forensic scientists have analyzed the letter and identified 4 pieces of evidence that link the letter to Osama – the handwriting, the reference to 9/11, the Anthrax which is a rare strain found primarily in the Afghani regions suspected of harboring Osama, and he wrote his name on the bottom)

The only reason I’m not dead is because my secretary has been stealing candy from my desk for months, and I mistakenly accused Colin, effectively locking him out of the Oval Office, and locking her in. Just like the old tale of the farmer and the hungry rabbit! Needless to say she’s dead. Though, to be fair, she was being kind of a dick.


Shantastic said...

Brilliant! Especially the fourth piece of evidence. One of the best blogs out there.

Anna said...

Hahahah i just happened to stumble upon this while doing a google search. You rock and that's hilarious.

Anonymous said...

it true, my love for president bush grow every day! you stop looking for me i come out of hiding place, we drink goat milk and have good time. i promise no anthrax in your goat milk. we play cards. how you americans say, no limit texas hold them?
-love osama