Sorry?

100 days and counting until I'm outta here.

Wow. 8 years. That's 8 years of my life I will never get back. I kind of regret signing up for this job; it was a soul sucker.

If you'll notice, the poll on the right shows I have a commanding lead over John McCain. But honestly - I don't think I could take 4 more years of me.

Sure, you could write me in on your ballot, but in the immortal words of the late great Danny Glover - I'm getting too old for this shit.

So who should you vote for? Well I don't know why you're asking me, honestly. But I'll give you my two cents (but I'm going to need that 2 cents back when you're done with it... what with the economy and all).

John McCain - old, and grumpy. Eh. Not a lot going on there.

Barrack Obama - possible terrorist, but has really good economic policies, a pretty decent tax plan, and a killer jump shot.

Bob Barr/Ron Paul - Go ahead, throw your vote away.

The problem with voting for John McCain is that he's got an idiot for a VP. So if he passes on (And trust me people at 72 you're pushing it), well then we're stuck with a whack job as president. Someone who can't control the insanity that spills from her mouth, who can't form a single coherent English sentence, and who doesn't even read a single paper. Hell people, even I read Mad Magazine once and a while!

The problem with voting for Barrack Obama is that he'll try to fix all the stuff I spent 8 years doing. Do we really want that? Think about what will happen to my legacy!

In conclusion: If you go to the polls on November 4th (it hasn't changed, has it?) think about all the accomplishments of my administration, and think about what would happen if he "changed" everything I did.

My Accomplishments:
Gas prices
The economy
The War in Iraq
The War in Afghanistan
The Environment
Torture
The National Debt
Tony Danza's Career
9/11
Spying on Americans
Global Credibility
Stopped Stem Cell Research
Airline Bailout
Located Bin Laden (narrowed down to 1 or 2 countries)
Unemployment
Privatized Military
Patriot Act

I haven't seen the trailer to the new movie about me coming out next week - but I'll be it will be good. Check it out!

Another Fresh Batch

(My niece Jennifer and I printing up a fresh batch)

Can you smell them? Mmmm, just like Dad used to make.

The best part about being President is this is totally legal! If I pulled this kind of stunt back when I owned the Texas Rangers there would be major legal ramifications... like fines, citations, public apologies and what not. When you live next door to the Treasury building and are responsible for starting and/or winning wars, no one thinks twice about printing up a batch.

It's like when I'm the banker whenever we play Monopoly; I have an endless supply of money at my disposal. Now don't get me wrong, I care about the national debt. It's absolutely atrocious... what's it at now? 3? 4 billion? Who knows! The important thing to remember is that we don't have to worry about it... Jennifer's generation has to worry about it. I plan on being knee deep in the grave at that point, and if you know what's good for you, you should too.

If you're in the area, stop by tomorrow. I plan on making some oatmeal-raisin fifties.

National Debt: not my problem, yours.

There is a lot of talk about how my spending has increased the national debt. We are currently trillion dollars in debt according to the Treasury Department. Now some of you may say, "Hey, we should fix this." Well you know what, screw you, I'll be dead long before it becomes a problem. Good luck with that.