Thursday, December 09, 2004

Adam and the Beave - Not in MY neighborhood

Ehem people, has anybody read the amendments to the Constitution? Article IX (Roman numeral for Rocky 9) states, “The enumeration in the Constitution of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.”

By allowing homosexuals the right to get married, the liberals infringe upon my right for them not to get married.

All we have to do is prove that homosexuals either hurt me physically or take away my rights by getting married. Easy –

They hurt my Christian sensibility, and they do irreparable damage to immature minds. Imagine children thinking about two lesbians doing it in their dorm rooms! They should not be exposed to such graphic images, and the only way to counter-act those images is by depicting manly heterosexual images… of war! Blood, violence, detached limbs etc.; Kid tested, mother approved.

My whole point is that people should not have to think about a man putting his *expletive deleted* in another man’s *expletive deleted*. Good old fashion sex - the way God likes it – is only when the man puts his *expletive deleted* in a woman’s *expletive deleted*, and only in her *expletive deleted*… unless the sex isn’t great and the couple agrees to experiment, then, and only then is it ok for a man to put his *expletive deleted* in the female’s *expletive deleted*, but to reiterate, never in the man’s *expletive deleted*. Also, oral sex is totally not cool with God, sorry ladies. Lesbians and straight women are just going to have to learn to get along without foreplay.

Just remember; God’s a perv, and he only likes straight porn.

(In the original story of Adam and Eve, Adam was delivering a pizza.)


GuyWithTheCoat said...

Few people know this, but God was the guy that coined the phrase 'bowm-chick-a-bowm-bowm'

Anonymous said...

i thought it went 'bow chicka bow wow'

Anonymous said...

Hey what’s Adam holding his Pizza up with, his twig? Oh, and that hat is all wrong for that period in history. All the real players of paradise back in the day were wearing Black Persian Lamb Kangos while they was sinning. Check it out; these babies were stupid fresh!