George Lucas Best Start Running

The law is a funny thing. As President of the United States, I am still under the scrutiny of the law. If I j-walk, I get a fine. If I threaten to kill someone, I can be charged with a felony and serve jail time. But since the Death Penalty is legal, I can technically say "I want George Lucas executed," and not get in trouble for anything. In fact, funny thing about the law, I can have George Lucas executed, and since I'm the Commander and Chief of the most powerful military in the world, I can pretty much do whatever I want.

Sooo... for crimes against humanity, and for crimes against the Star Wars series, I hereby replace Osama Bin Laden with George Suckass as the number one Most Wanted man on the FBI's top ten list. There is currently a $25,000,000 reward for the capture or execution of said criminal.


(George Lucas at the next RNC if he doesn't shape up his act)

For those who haven't heard:
George Lucas digitally added in Jar Jar Binks into the original Star Wars series, along with Hayden Christensen and other crap. He also removed the ewok's song at the end of Return of the Jedi, which was my favorite part of all the Star Wars films. Now I personally haven't seen the new DVDs, but my friend Colin was bitching about it earlier, and I agree. Besides; Lucas is probably a Hollywood Liberal anyway, so one more dead celebrity equals one less vote for Kerry.

Now we got three wars waging in America thanks to me and my dad; a war on drugs, a war on terrorism, and a war on crappy remakes of classic films. Rest assured; America will not give in to the will of mad men with video cameras, massive egos and large budgets. Freedom will prevail.

Plus this pretty much means I can stop focusing so hard on the war on terror like I did on the war on drugs. If, say in another 2 years, I haven’t captured or killed George Lucas, I can always start a new war on something else and forget about this one. We Americans are suckers that way.