On My MP3 Player: Jamiroquai

The NSA asked for my permission to set up a secret test facility for futuristic bombs in Virginia. I said sure cause does anybody really live in Virginia anyway? Besides, it's like a thousand miles away from me. They always have to ask for my permission now because of what happened in Michigan, that was a bitch to cover up let me tell you. Anyway, it's hush hush, but I have such a hard time keeping secrets. I always end up telling someone, and I did it again, I went and told one of the daily tours that was coming through the White House. Dick said I shouldn't worry about it because they wouldn't be talking anyway, Dick always has a great way of making me feel better about these kinds of things. Like a few weeks ago I met this guy who was a big important spy, well long story short he wound up floating face down in the Potomac like a week later and Tom (this guy I appointed to homeland security because he kept getting in my way, another long story) started bitching at me, telling me it was my fault, but Dick fixed everything. He told the news people a great story about a disgruntled government employee jumping from the Woodrow Wilson Bridge. He did however tell me he was going to start reading through my posts before I published them on this Blog. Well, maybe he will and maybe he won't. I have my secrets too, Dick!

PS: If you're reading this, don't tell Dick.