Liberal Media

When I get re-elected my first job will be to get rid of all these darn liberal media folks. First of all, the liberals are unpatriotic and anti-war which pretty much means they want another country to invade America and take us over because they don't like America and they want it to end. Second of all, the so called "Fair and Balanced Coverage" is hardly fair or balanced. Those darn liberals at Fox are constantly talking bad about me. I was watching the other day and Bill O'Reilly "reported" that I should take a firmer stand in the middle east and take out Iran because their citizens hate American principles too. Please Bill, like a pussy Democrat would do a better job at killing Arabs? Besides, Iran is on my TO DO list, and I thought of invading them way before Bill O'freaking-Reilly ever did. In fact, I'm planning to invade all of them, but the liberals down at Fox would love to see me fail. All they talk about is finishing the job in Iraq this and sending more troops to Iraq that.

Remember when I landed on the carrier, how cool that was? I was gonna take the troops out that week and call it quits, but noooooo! The liberals at Fox kept pointing out to the American people how screwed up it is - and so I had to keep more troops in, and soon I'm gonna end up sending more just to protect the ones that are already there.

If I keep all our troops in Iraq, how are we going to turn the rest of the middle east into a democracy?

That's another thing. If the Iraqi's aren't willing to die for freedom and democracy, why should we? Why didn't they do the job of getting Saddam out themselves if they hated it so bad? Why? Because they're a bunch of liberal pussies.

It's almost a good thing the liberals are such pussies cause I know they will never try to start a war to get me out of office. I could take a crap on the American flag and all they would say is, "he has the right to do whatever he wants." Ah hell no I don't! If I was President I would throw me in one of our secret prisons for doing that! We don't have the right to do whatever we feel like, cause if we did, things would just go crazy and everyone would go around enjoying themselves too much.

The only real reason the Democrats wouldn't invade the middle east is cause they're afraid of getting too much sand in their vaginas. That and the American people didn't really wanna go there either, but as I always say, WWGD. What Would George Do. Whatever I feel like.

Don't mess with Texas.