Tuesday, May 02, 2006

If George Clooney is mad, it MUST be important

A lot of people have been asking me to "please do something about the genocide in Darfur." But what can I do? They're in an entirely different country on what I suspect is an entirely different continent. And I'm just one man... one. man. Believe me, I wish we could just go over there, stop the genocide, and then install a democracy, but that's not what we do!

The best strategy is to sit back and wait until the time is right and all those Sudanese boys are dead. Then, several years after that when the Sudanese government has started to cooperate with the UN, and the President has reformed his ways... we strike. Then dig up the mass graves, promise never again, and try the President in a mock trial until he has a heart attack and dies of old age.

Some of you may be saying to yourselves, "Hey, that's just dumb." But I argue it is the most politically advantageous action we can take to assure a majority seat holding in the senate in 10 years.

The President of Sudan will be sitting in his spiderhole many years from now saying, "What the truck? Why did they strike now?" He'll be totally confused. And that's the best form of revenge.

We need to send a message to the evildoers that if you commit a crime, we might not stop you, but we sure as hell will not forget your atrocities during the next midterm election.

(normally this is where I put a hilariously photoshopped image of the Sudanese President doing something whacky… but this shit is just too depressing to mock. Instead, please enjoy Davy the upside turtle.)

(it beats the crap out of what's going on in Sudan)

Oh, and for all of you bitching about Darfur and the lost boys, quit your crabbing. Sudan sucks, but it ain't even the worst place in Africa... besides, shouldn't you be worried about your gas prices or something important like that?

1 comment:

Andrew said...

People should be aware of America's largest mine, a combined gold & copper mine in West Papua designed & built by Bechtel and operated by Freeport McMoRan. Mobil & Chevron discovered West Papua's wealth in 1936, they kept it secret until 1959 when the Papuans announced they were searching for the mountain of gold, in 1959 Rockefeller's Freeport Sulphur began work to mine West Papua's wealth.

After Indonesia's military proved unable to seize West Papua, White House advisers McGeorge Bundy & Robert Komer told Kennedy that he had to force the Netherlands to sign the New York Agreement selling West Papua to Indonesian control. After General Suharto killed a half million Javanese coming to power Freeport Sulphur got its first 30 year license in 1967 from Indonesia to mine the Pacific nation of West Papua.

In 2004 the Yale University Law School published its report:
"Indonesian Human Rights Abuses in West Papua:
Application of the Law of Genocide to the History of Indonesian Control"

In 2005 the US Congressmen wrote Section 1115 asking questions about West Papua & Indonesia's claim of sovereignty. In late 2005 Bechtel & Freeport & Exxon used their "US Indonesia Society" lobby to petition the US Senate to remove the entire Section 1115.

Genocide is about denial, the US governmet is not allowed to ask questions about West Papua. 40 years of genocide (according to Yale Law School) and colonial mining courtesy of the Indonesian military.
George Bush has kept Indonesian Jihadist training camps OPEN, lifted Clinton's bans on the TNI, and even commenced U.S. funding & Aid to the Indonesian military which still works with Laskar Jihad and other al Qaeda networks.

George Bush's largest corporate sponsors of his election in 2000, were the members of the US Indonesia Society. And he has rewarded them lavishly by opossing his Congressmen and the US Dept. of State to resume US support of Indonesian colonization and US mining of their colonies from Aceh to West Papua.