Monday, June 13, 2005

The Way Stupid Americans Make-a-Me Feel

What does the Michael Jackson court case prove?

That no matter how evil you are, and no matter how much evidence there is to prove you wrong, the American people will always take sides with the man with money, as long as you’ve won the hearts and minds of the retarded half of America. That’s right, I said it. There are two kinds of Americans; the stupid American who relies on “good feelings,” flashy presentations and high hopes vs. the logical American who relies on evidence, reasoning and common sense. You know who controls America right now? The stupid Americans – at least that’s how I feel after watching the results of such a horrendous train wreck.

Now I’m not about to say I have any idea what goes on in a “Court Case,” but one thing I do know is that there are millions of Americans who saw and heard Michael Jackson say that it is appropriate for young children to sleep with a 45 year old man accused of child molestation, and there are millions of Americans who came out and supported Michael Jackson beat a cancer patient in a criminal trial.

Do Americans care anymore? They see, hear and comprehend one truth, and react an entirely different way. Do you know how easy it would be for me as President if Americans saw the kind of shit I did, heard the kind of shit I said, comprehended the kind of shit I pulled – then voted on gut instinct anyway?! My approval rating would be through the freakin’ roof - maybe as high as 52 or 53 percent! I could drop a deuce on Mother Theresa’s freaking tombstone, call it a freedom nugget, then sit back and watch as everyone defended my good honor! If only all Americans were that stupid all the time.

On a side note, Jackson is innocent. Maybe he slept with those boys, or maybe he just slept with those boys. Either way, it’s better that ten guilty persons escape than that one innocent suffer, as William Blackstone said - and I’ll stand by that.

But come on, innocent or not, would you let your kids sleep with that guy? Well I wouldn't, but I don't have a choice because my daughters are a couple of sluts. Laura hates it when I call them that, but how will they ever learn without constant verbal reinforcement?


Jacques Ass said...

Amazing stuff.

Think you'd enjoy

Phillipe Vieira said...

Mr. President, I would just like to inform you that not ALL Americans are STUPID! Americans like myself, who live in Europe found the result in the court of Santa Barbara quite disgusting!! Really, how could a man (can I call him that?) admit that he enjoys to sleep with children, not be charged... I mean just look at him! That face has guilty all over it (instead of a nose)...

Very good and sarcastic post... Long live the Red Sox!

Pilot said...

hey what happened to the sandy dry ol' cooter post. it was hilarious!

Americano Anonymouso said...

Hi, I was just passing through when I noticed your blog. Just have to say, that MOST Americans have their faces stuck in a bowl of materialism and physical gratification. If it were not so, Mr. president, your ass would be whipped.Americano Anonymouso