Sunday, February 27, 2005

Secret Service keep choosing retarded codenames

The Secret Service changed my codename yesterday to “Corky.” That’s the fifth time this month we’ve had to change my codename because someone keeps leaking it, freakin' A people, learn to keep a secret. Corky isn’t great, but at least it is better than the last codenames; Gump, Lennie, Childers, Bufford Blue or my least favorite, Carrot Top. The codename used to just be, “The Retarded Kid from Mercury Rising,” until I reminded them that the kid wasn’t retarded, he was autistic. There is a difference.

Personally I find it insulting that they won’t listen to my ideas for codenames; Megatron, Eagle One, Deepthroat or Blue Velvet are perfectly acceptable/cool names which sound even cooler over the walkie talkies. “Apparently” all of those names are reserved for other members of our parliament, but I think they’re just using that as an excuse because they are afraid to admit I am right.

Deepthroat, over and out.


Mister Underhill said...

Hey wait, megatron is taken.

I, as a pseudokennedy, have my own secret service people, and that is my codename.

You can be mr pink if you want.

cfitzart said...

awesome blog Mr President!! this is so funny, ive been looking at all your previous posts and couldnt stop laughing. hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

I did a yahoo search for Secret Service codenames, and saw that Reagan's was Rawhide. He was The Man!
Hillary's was Tonguelasher, to Bill's Milkman.
Do your Secret Service agents carry blackjacks? Do you ever call them the SS?