The Gay Conspiracy

Well I hate the gays as much as any Republican, but come on now, what’s the deal with Sponge Bob being bad because he was gay! He’s a cartoon character for Christ’s sake! He doesn’t even have genitalia! Besides, I grew up with homosexual Muppets and my mom never complained.

I'll be the first to admit it, but this is extremely petty even for us Republicans. In a complete reversal of my staunchly anti-homosexual record, I’m taking a stand with Sponge Bob on this one...

He’s here, he’s square, get used to it.