The CIA created a mind reading device (see photo)
which was placed on Saddam’s head late last night, and the results which came back were startling. Among the thoughts we extracted from his mind were these tasty unpatriotic, anti-American tidbits…
(Actual thoughts of Saddam)
“Man, what happened, this sucks.”
“I wish I was in Cuba.”
“Ya know, maybe I should have made weapons of mass destruction. Yes, in hindsight, if I knew they were going to invade me anyway, I would have made weapons. Damn, I should have been prepared. This is what I get for being optimistic.”
“I wish I knew that Osama Bin Laden guy right about now.”
“I have to admit, Bush did look very heroic in the weeks that followed September 11th; hanging out with those firefighters was a way better photo op than me shooting a shotgun from a balcony. I need to get that Scott McClellan guy. Hell, if i knew they'd invade me I would have helped Bin Laden with the attacks. I'm such a fool! Ah hell, I did everything wrong!”
“Is it potato, or potatoe?”
“Why me!?”
“I wonder if I could get that hot Abu Ghraib prison guard to come down here, strip me naked, and then walk me around on a leash again... what can I say, I have a thing for chicks with short hair in army clothes.”
So it looks like my doctrine of pre-emptive preemption based an assumptions was accurate… I dare anyone to dispute that!
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