Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Karl Rove Attempts Suicide...

I should have seen the warning signs...

(Senior Advisor Karl Rove lays down in front of Airforce One in an attempt to take his own life...)

I feel absolutely horrible... He even came to me a week ago and started offering me all his stuff. The part I feel worst about though, is that I took it all. Even his ipod, and I already have an ipod of my own. Does that make me a bad person? Now I have the awkward situation of deciding whether to give it back. I mean he gave it to me right, so technically it is mine, but at the same time, seeing as he is still alive and all, I suppose he might want some of it back. Well I will definitely give the ipod back, because I already have one and I believe it is the right thing to do (I have a very strong conscience).

He actually said that was why he tried to kill himself; he started listening to his conscience. But that's what the terrorists want us to do! If we start listening to our conscience, then the terrorists have already won...

That settles it, I'm keeping the ipod - not because I want or need it - but because the terrorists want me to give it back. That's not a bad idea for a new Doctrine... Do the Opposite of What the Terrorists Want, No Matter What Doctrine... Well I can think of a better name for it later.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

YOYO DAWG SUP?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

The terrorists would have wanted someone to stop Karl, too. Who stopped him? They must be punished.