Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Reagan's Dream

If any of you have been watching the news lately, you know what kind of shit storm I’m in. They got a hold of this picture…



Now a lot of agencies are saying that I have been faking the entire Iraq war with special effects and stock footage of soldiers walking around and shooting at stuff. I guarantee you, the Iraq war is real! I swear I’m not lying this time. Yes, the whole “Why we went into the war” was bullshit, but the war itself is real. As for the dewback and storm trooper in the background, well they’re fake. I captured Lucas and before I was about to execute him, he pleaded for his life and convinced me that the Iraq war was missing something, a certain je ne se qua if you will. He argued that what the war needed was some new heroes; storm troopers! Needless to say, he sold me on the idea (don't worry, I still executed him).

I even get my very own black cape and death star in the deal, through which I will vicariously complete Reagan’s lifelong dream, albeit posthumously. He would have wanted it this way.

Speaking of which, I think this is the weekend we can finally raise the flags back to full mast. Reagan would have wanted us to have moved on by this time. Ya know I half expected him to resurrect three days later and take his seat at the right hand of the father, but life can’t always be like in the movies.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

good job, H

Anonymous said...

i love you with a passion of a thousand suns

Andrew said...

if there really were dewbacks in the "war" hell i would join in a second

Anonymous said...

You are my hero

Photograph Photograph said...

Ha ha!