Sunday, September 12, 2004

Christmas tomorrow...

My Christmas comes early this year as the ten year ban on automatic assault weapons ends tomorrow!

But seriously, I can't wait to get my gun. I've had an AK-47 on back order for about 8 months now, and I hear the new TEC-9 improvements are awesome! You'd think that because I am the President of the United States of America, and Commander and Chief of the armed forces I would have access to any assault rifle I wanted, right? Well that's what I thought too, but the guy behind the counter at Wal-Mart disagreed.

Next weekend I get to go hunting in West Virginia with some of the Justices of the Supreme Court. Ginsburg wanted to go too, but I had to explain to her that she was a girl, and probably wouldn’t be able to hold an assault rifle properly. I was so embarrassed! Turns out Ruth is a dude. We both had a good laugh despite the awkward situation. He took it pretty well; I guess he gets that a lot. I feel bad for Clarence who has a thing for white women and supposedly had a drunken fling with Ruth at the Christmas party. I’ll have a talk with him later about that.


My old, crappy, non automatic, non assault weapon; good for hunting smaller animals like bear.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is the most brillant thing i have ever read! and as for all of you who find this stupid and offensive...you should try to get a gawd damn since of humor you fuck faces. dont take shit so seriously! but seriously..keep this up, i read it every damn day. me and my friends love it!

ethan said...

Keep writing!

Geronimo said...

up until today i was on the fence about who to vote for. i've found yet one more thing to fill up my otherwise dull workday on the web.