Never forget...

I hate to say this, but the other day... I almost forgot. I was sitting there thinking to myself, Man isn't it glorious that America has never been humbled by a major terrorist attack, isn't it great that we've always had the Terror Alert System - color coded for maximum efficiency, and then I remembered... September 11th. They always say, "Never forget" and you think to yourself, "Uh yeah, thanks, I'm not going to forget... jackass." But it is true; it is extremely easy to forget if you aren't reminded all the time. And you know the news doesn't mention it hardly enough.

That is what makes the Republican National Convention so awesome; our understanding that the American People are too stupid to remember a national tragedy that is less than 3 years old. The Democrats just assume the American People are going to remember four planes crashing simultaneously across the country because the media burned the image into our heads for 6 straight months, but what the Democrats don't know is going to hurt them:

The image of the twin towers falling down is an easily forgettable event that must be exploited.

That is why I am proposing a bill that will make all TV shows flash an image of the twin towers falling down every 3 minutes, along with an image of me at ground zero heroically supporting the firefighters. So the American people will never forget the events of September 11th and my stunning display of leadership in the weeks that followed, even if they get down on their knees and beg God to wipe the memories from their tortured minds, they won't be able to forget how awful life was on that day.

Can you imagine how it would have been if Al Gore was appointed President? He would have gone down to ground zero and peed on the debris, then he would have told the firefighters to go fuck themselves because he has no understanding of how the American People really are. He wouldn't have spent weeks taking photo ops at the site of the accident, or secretly dismantling basic American liberties which could be exploited by terrorists. If it was up to him, colored people would still be allowed to have their rights read to them while being arrested. Next thing you know, the terrorists and gang members would be asking for lawyers! The Democrats are so retarded and gutless it makes me want to invade them and force them to start thinking the way I want them to.

Annnnyway, I told Andy Jr. about my idea and asked if he could help me, but he said there were a number of problems. First off he's the chief of staff, and I guess that's not what he does... Second off he told me I was the President, and making bills is not what I do... I explained to him that I've signed like an infinity of bills already, but he just doesn't understand my job apparently. Well I'll keep trying, and hopefully no one will ever forget again.