This, by the way, is off the record

Alright, so I might not care about black people, but my mom’s a total bitch. She needs to learn to say "off the record" more often. She flat out told a reporter regarding Katrina refugees that…

"What I’m hearing which is sort of scary is they all want to stay in Texas. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them." CNN

Great work Mom, now in order to look… well, not racist, we have to adopt a black family and house them in my old room in Texas. They’re totally going to tear down all my posters and replace them with abominations like “Jay-Z” or “P-Diddy.”


Gene Simmons does not belong next to Fiddy Cent!!

Another thing the media’s done for my reputation is make it seem like I went out of my way to leave black people stranded in the Superdome, which is not true! I did not go out of my way to leave them stranded there; I just kind of let it happen. I did, however, go out of my way to save about 30 white people, but you hardly hear the US media talking about that! The BBC, on the other hand, picked up a report on the elaborate undercover military operation I ordered which rescued 30 British nationals. They even had the decency to post testimonials like Jenny Sachs on the BBC website which explains how hard it was for our men in uniform to pluck 30 pale faced foreigners out of a crowd of starving, desperate, angry black Americans. That is bravery… God bless our troops.

Kanye West Doesn’t Care about Me

If you didn’t see it already, rapper Kanye West told everyone on national television that “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” during a charity event to raise money for Katrina victims.

So what?

(probably my last visit to the BET awards)

Another Fresh Batch

(My niece Jennifer and I printing up a fresh batch)

Can you smell them? Mmmm, just like Dad used to make.

The best part about being President is this is totally legal! If I pulled this kind of stunt back when I owned the Texas Rangers there would be major legal ramifications... like fines, citations, public apologies and what not. When you live next door to the Treasury building and are responsible for starting and/or winning wars, no one thinks twice about printing up a batch.

It's like when I'm the banker whenever we play Monopoly; I have an endless supply of money at my disposal. Now don't get me wrong, I care about the national debt. It's absolutely atrocious... what's it at now? 3? 4 billion? Who knows! The important thing to remember is that we don't have to worry about it... Jennifer's generation has to worry about it. I plan on being knee deep in the grave at that point, and if you know what's good for you, you should too.

If you're in the area, stop by tomorrow. I plan on making some oatmeal-raisin fifties.

In Regards to Recent Concerns about the Increasing Costs and the Growing Insurgency in Iraq:

Lalalala lalalal lalala lal lal lalalalala la. Lalala lala la lalalalala lala lalalalala la lalal la lal lalal lalala lalala lala lalaalalalala lala lala laalalaaa laalaaa, laaala lalala lalalaalala lalala lala laala lala lalala lala! Lalala lalalaa lala lalaalalaaala. Lalalala lalalal lalala lal lal lalalalala la lalala lala la lalalalala lala lalalalala la. Lalal la lal lalal lalala lalala lala lalaalalalala lala lala laalalaaa laalaaa laaala lalala lalalaalala lalala lala laala lala lalala lala lalala lalalaa lala lalaalalaaala. Lalala. Lalala lala lalalaalaalaa lalala laaa, lala laaalaa lalala lalalaaa? La. Lalalalalala. Lalalalala. I’m not listening! Lalalalala. Lalalala lala lala lalalalalaa laalalala lalalla. Lalalala lala lalaala lalal laalala lalalal; lalalala lalal lala lalalalalal lalaalala. Lalalala lalalala lalal, lalalalal lalalalalal, lalalla lalallalala llalal lalal lalalalalal. Lalalalala, lalalala lalal laalaaa lalaaa. Lalalala lalalal lalala lal lal lalalalala la lalala lala la lalalalala lala lalalalala la. Lalal la lal lalal lalala lalala lala lalaalalalala lala lala laalalaaa laalaaa laaala lalala lalalaalala lalala lala laala lala lalala lala lalala lalalaa lala lalaalalaaala. Lalala. Lalalala lalalal lalala lal lal lalalalala la lalala lala la lalalalala lala lalalalala la. Lalal la lal lalal lalala lalala lala lalaalalalala lala lala laalalaaa laalaaa laaala lalala lalalaalala lalala lala laala lala lalala lala lalala lalalaa lala lalaalalaaala. Lalala. Lalalala lalalal lalala lal lal lalalalala la lalala lala la lalalalala lala lalalalala la. Lalal la lal lalal lalala lalala lala lalaalalalala lala lala laalalaaa laalaaa laaala lalala lalalaalala lalala lala laala lala lalala lala lalala lalalaa lala lalaalalaaala. Lalala.

Lalalala lalalal lalala lal lal lalalalala la. Lalala lala la lalalalala lala lalalalala la lalal la lal lalal lalala lalala lala lalaalalalala lala lala laalalaaa laalaaa, laaala lalala lalalaalala lalala lala laala lala lalala lala! Lalala lalalaa lala lalaalalaaala. Lalalala lalalal lalala lal lal lalalalala la lalala lala la lalalalala lala lalalalala la. Lalal la lal lalal lalala lalala lala lalaalalalala lala lala laalalaaa laalaaa laaala lalala lalalaalala lalala lala laala lala lalala lala lalala lalalaa lala lalaalalaaala. Lalala. Lalala lala lalalaalaalaa lalala laaa, lala laaalaa lalala lalalaaa? La. I can’t hear you! Lalalala lalalal lalala lal lal lalalalala la. Lalala lala la lalalalala lala lalalalala la lalal la lal lalal lalala lalala lala lalaalalalala lala lala laalalaaa laalaaa, laaala lalala lalalaalala lalala lala laala lala lalala lala! Lalala lalalaa lala lalaalalaaala. Lalalala lalalal lalala lal lal lalalalala la lalala lala la lalalalala lala lalalalala la. Lalal la lal lalal lalala lalala lala lalaalalalala lala lala laalalaaa laalaaa laaala lalala lalalaalala lalala lala laala lala lalala lala lalala lalalaa lala lalaalalaaala. Lalala. Lalala lala lalalaalaalaa lalala laaa, lala laaalaa lalala lalalaaa? La.

I thought I had made myself clear about the situation in Iraq, but the media continues to ask the same questions, so for the last time... lalalalaa. I hope this clarifies things.