Friday, March 25, 2005

A spring break ruined...

So there I am, living it up down on my ranch in Crawford, getting some sun, moving some brush, or whatever the hell it is my PR people make me do for the cameras, and those thumb suckers down in Congress call me back to “sign some important legislation.”

Now I’m thinking, oh boy, this must be important, we’re finally going to make some sort of difference. But nooooo! I’m called back to Washington so I can stop Terri Schiavo from dying. Do you know how many Americans died over my spring break? 45,276.92! That’s a lot of dead people, people! Why should I care about one? I’ll tell you why, because the American voters have lost sight of what is really important. Stopping roids in baseball.

If only there were a way to transfer all the roids used by baseball players to Terri Schiavo…

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