Saturday, November 13, 2004

Hang in there Dick!

I’m sure you’ve all heard it reported in the news that earlier this week Dick Cheney was checked out by doctors for shortness of breath. We’ve known of this health concern for a while now, but unfortunately there is nothing we can do to stop it. Dick Cheney has been infected with the rare RAGE virus, which was brilliantly depicted in the 2002 zombie film 28 Days Later. For those of you unfamiliar with the film (awesome scary movie) a rare virus rapidly spreads throughout the world infecting each person it encounters – the victims are then turned into blood thirsty zombies that roam the streets looking for more people to hurt/infect. It’s just too bad a man like Dick was infected in the prime of his life… Luckily, Dick is a fighter, and although infected, he does not appear to be showing any signs of this debilitating disease…

Before Infection:


After Infection:


Hang in there Dick! Everyone at the White House is pulling for you!




Well it’s either that, or another heart attack. What do I know, I’m not a doctor.

5 comments:

GuyWithTheCoat said...

That's really a pity...
And what makes it worse are the rumors that YOU are the one that gave it to him!

... the virus WAS first spread by a chimp, wasn't it?

Anonymous said...

Sounds familiar. Maybe he has the same thing that the ODB had?

Anonymous said...

Give it up W, we know the score. Dick Cheney isn’t even human anymore. The real Mr. Cheney was replaced by an Android some five years ago (and not even a Nexus 6 at that) when he and his daughter mysteriously drove off a cliff in Colorado after attending a gay lib meeting. And yes, that does make his daughter a lesbian android if anyone was asking, which I hear is a lot easier to program than a straight one.

Ms Bees Knees said...

All I have to say is: that man has had 4 fricking heart attacks! Read 'em: 4. What do you think his God is trying to tell him? Huh? How about, "Its time for you to go, Dick." Why is he still living!? Why!?

Anonymous said...

Yes, I think the big man or woman upstairs is starting to give him other peoples heart attacks just to get it over with.