They Shut Off My Internet to Silence Me

Good news! I figured out a way to steal wireless internet! Wahoo! Just point my antenna out the Oval office window towards the Treasury Department and... Voila! Free internet! Best part about it is if they ever catch me downloading illegal music, the lawsuit gets sent to the Treasury – and they have a butt load of money so no worries.

Now, you might be saying, “Hey, Bush, you’re the president of the United Friggin States of America, most powerful man in the entire world; why do you need to steal internet?” Tom Ridge and National Security, that’s why! That sonofabiatch has been out to get me from day one, and I’ve just about put up with all the crap a man can take. He seriously needs to get up out of my grill before I beat his ass.

See the thing is he found out about my weBlog a little while back and has since then had a stick up his butt. He goes around telling people that I am endangering lives by discussing maters of States on the internet, and that this is a “childish endeavor” which can only lead to a breach of national security. Apparently on September 7th I accidentally released enough information on my weBlog post which would allow terrorists to decipher some of the nuclear launch codes, (I made a mental note to change the codes but had a brain fart, I’m human give me a friggin’ break!) blah blah blah, point of the story is, Tom Ridge has no right to read my Blog and then judge me on it. This is a private thing for friends and family or whoever, and he is abusing the privilege.

So the jackass shut off my internet to stop my weBlog. But what he doesn’t know is that I’m Bush baby! I’m invincible!