Art Dealers in the Park

A lot of people assume that because I’m from Texas, I wouldn’t understand or appreciate fine art. Well today I proved them wrong. I purchased two Edvard Munch pieces from a couple of Norwegian guys I met in Lafayette Park who said I was a perfect match for the paintings because they were so hard to move. They were right, those things weighed like 15 lbs each, and they were extremely bulky and awkward (they went so far as to say I was the only one who could move them; well I seriously doubt that, it was probably just flattery), but nonetheless I moved them.

I’m going to give them to this rib joint down in Crawford, Texas because they’ve always given me free ribs every time I’ve gone in. It’s actually a really classy place because the bar is in a separate area from most of the dinner tables and there is even a fire place and live country music on Ladies night. I think it will go nicely in the men’s room because the owner is always talking about how he wants to make that part of the restaurant presentable. Well here’s his chance, he’s going to be excited!

The best part about our deal is the Norwegians didn’t even want cash; they just wanted to have a private viewing of our Declaration of Independence. How lame is that? Well they seemed trustworthy, and it was such a killer deal, I had them made an extra set of keys to the National Archives. The Norwegians are good people; a simple folk, but decent people.