Michael Moore

A lot of people assume I must hate Michael Moore because he's so mean to me in his movies. I didn't see Fahrenheit 9-11, but I hear it was pretty good. Siskel and the other one who's not dead gave it two thumbs up, so you know it's at least worth seeing right?

What a lot of people don't understand about me is that I am a compassionate conservative which means I am like Jesus. We both help the homeless, we both love all of Gods creatures, we both turn the other cheek when somebody else threatens or attacks us, we like wine, we both own large ranches and most importantly we forgive others. Now I forgive Michael Moore and everything, but seriously, if he had a problem why didn't he come to me in the first place? Like why does he have to go behind my back ya know? How would he like it if the Republicans criticized him, called him names, and then made up lies? Let me tell you how he'd feel; just like I did when I first heard about the film... I felt hurt. Anyway, I think things are cool now cause I'm pushing for this new anti-gay commandment, and I hear most people are like Jesus and myself - we enjoy homosexually "hip" TV shows, but we can't stand the people themselves.