The Moral Game!

Do your morals fall in line with those of the Republican Party? If you said “Maybe, I dunno I didn’t really think about it, but I suppose they very well could,” or something similar, than take the Moral Game Challenge!

I will show you 4 pictures, and of those 4 pictures, you choose which one has a right to life, and which one does not.

A.) An Iraqi

B.) A Criminal

C.) A baby

D.) Queers


The correct answer was C.), the baby. The baby has a right to life because it is too young to make mistakes like an Iraqi, a Criminal or a homosexual. Remember, according to the Republican Party Code of Morals (the RPCM) and our Lord Jesus Christ; every life is sacred, until it makes a mistake, and then it is acceptable to kill it. God would do the punishing of the wicked for us, but in this fast paced age of information and technology, he is just too busy – so it is up to the government to decide who should live and who should die.

Ashcroft "Resigns"

Well Attorney General John Ashcroft will have to resign for my second term, partly because of his unwavering support for the Patriot Act, his extreme religious views and his strong anti-abortion stance, but mainly because of his controversial “No Child Left Behind Act.” I know what you’re thinking, but no, it is not in any way related to my education act of the same name; it is quite a bit more gruesome.



Ashcroft heard some rumors about a messiah born somewhere in the country and he was afraid religious nuts might start worshiping him and take away from our power; long story short, he pretty much wants to kill American children. I tried reasoning with him; I explained there were other ways to kill Americans – discreetly! The man is a little nutso for the religion – I say anyone who’s that into religion has some confidence problems… Well I hate to see him go, but at least it will be a little quieter around the White House without him.

Question of the Day: Do puppies go to heaven?

Well we all know that full grown dogs go to heaven, but do puppies who are too young to have made the choice between good and evil go to heaven? What about dogs who have been put down, according to the bible I don't think those dogs would get in... Also, is puppy abortion moral? What if the puppy is retarded, or not as cute as most puppies - is it ok then?

I bring it up because Barney had puppies with a mut out of wedlock and Laura thought we should put down the puppies. Now I'm all for abortion, despite what my official stance is. Hell, according to my official stance I'm pro women's rights, but come on. If it weren't for abortion, Laura and I wouldn't have been able to force Jenna to stop herself from making a huge mistake last summer.

So, do those puppies I had the secret service run over with a truck go to heaven? Or do they just rot in the dumpster behind the Treasury? I'd like to think they go to heaven, but my beliefs tell me they don't. What a shame. Sometimes I wish I weren't tied down to believing one thing absolutely and unequivocally (Greenspan taught me that word!), sometimes I wish I was able to make up my own opinion, but then again, at least this way I don't have to worry about thinking it up.